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5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
作者:佚名   来源:不详   更新日期:2012-5-14   浏览次数:
 X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!
  Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
  X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)
  K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?
  X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.
  K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
  X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
  K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
  X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……
  Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子,蹲下)
  K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou
 haveavacation.
  Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.
  K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……小品剧本大全.
  Y:Hahaha-----
  H:Where’ssomewhere?
  K:What?
  Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?
  X:Yes,I……I…… do.
  H顶着摇头:X,no, no, youcan’tgotoLady’s “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!
  X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !
  K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !
  H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !
  K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?
  H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.
  K惊讶: !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?
  Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .
  H扑倒在X的身边:X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !
  K:what amoving story !I was impressed !
  Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
  H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !
  (H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏,K吓跑.音乐《再见,警察》起)
  Y痛苦状:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死,音乐停)
  (X咳,H扑到身边,电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起)
  H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
  X:gohome ! ?
  H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !
  X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor... promise meyou will survive... that youwillnevergiveup... nomatter what happens... no matter howhopeless... promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.
  H: I promise

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